I'm Pregnant!

Dear Little One,

A poppy seed.

Two nights ago, I left work and headed to the store to pick up a few things for daddy.  While at the store, I wandered over to the pregnancy tests and picked up a couple FRER tests.  Even though I was only ten days post ovulation, I had this odd desire to test the following morning, and I didn't want to use my digital tests so early.  I headed home and told daddy that I was thinking about testing.  After some thought, I decided not to test until I had at least past the day my period was supposed to start.

Later that evening, I was talking online to some of my trying to conceive group.  There were about six of us that had all ovulated around the same time and we were all planning to test at the same time.  One of the girls decided to test early... and got a big fat positive!  We were all so excited for her and before I knew what was going on, another girl had tested and she also got her big fat positive!  I looked at daddy and whined that I wanted a positive pregnancy test as well.  He told me to go ahead and test, but I had just went to the bathroom.  So I held it as long as I could after that, and only made it an hour.  I ran upstairs and tested.  I first used the FRER and fairly quickly I saw a second line.  I wasn't sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I also took the digital test.  I headed back downstairs and daddy and I waited at the bottom of the stairs.

Once three minutes had passed, I went back upstairs and checked the test.  It was positive!  I grabbed them and put them in a box with a couple of presents I had bought for Daddy.  I took the box downstairs to daddy who was sitting on the floor just waiting for me.  I handed him the box and he opened it.  He saw the test and immediately got teary.  It was the sweetest moment ever!  We finally knew you were on the way and we couldn't be happier.

A poppy seed... that's how big you are right now.  I'm currently 3 weeks and 5 days, estimated due date of August 9, 2013.  I'm sure these next nine months are just going to fly by, but I'm going to try and enjoy every minute of it.  For now, I'm just going to try and keep you as safe as possible.  We cannot wait to meet you!

Love forever and always,

Two Week Wait

Dear Little One,

I'm in the middle of my two week wait... the waiting is agony!  It is so hard to keep my mind off of you.  I've been going to church for the last three weeks.  I definitely think its been helping to hand this process over to God.  Hopefully I get good news by the end of the week.

This past Thursday was Thanksgiving.  It was bittersweet.  We were really hoping we would be able to announce a pregnancy at Thanksgiving, but we are still waiting for our time.  It was hard because my mom, Grammy, mentioned that I still hadn't given her grand kids and asked if I could give her a Christmas present. I would love to be able to announce a baby at Christmas, but I'm not sure that's going to happen.  I told her maybe Christmas of 2015.  I try to laugh off these comments, but it's hard.  Then we went to visit daddy's family and his dad asked if I had morning sickness since I wasn't feeling well.  I wish I had morning sickness.

Ugh... I hate waiting!  I can't wait to find out you are on your way to meet mommy and daddy.  We are so excited even though we don't even know when you will get here.  We love you so much, so don't take too much more time!

Love forever and always,

Need to Relax

Dear Little One,

Sometimes I find myself crying when I see a baby on television or read about another pregnancy on Facebook.  I know we've only been trying for a couple months, but it feels like its been forever!  It's so hard to wait for our time.  I'm trying to remind myself that God has a plan for us... maybe it would help if I started going to church again.  I don't know know what will help, but it couldn't hurt, right?

It seems like every where I go, I see pregnant women and children.  Everyday, I go on my Facebook and find more baby photos, pregnancy updates, stories about families and I just feel this yearning, this desire, to be a mommy.  There are already five positive pregnancy tests in my TTC group on facebook, and as much as I want to be happy for eand and every one of them (and I really am), it also hurts every time I read about another soon-to-be mommy getting that wonderful news.  I want that to be me!

I have such envy towards these women and I know this can't be good for me.  It's eating away at me inside.  So, I need to find a way to calm this desire and relax a little.  So I guess that is my goal for this next week, relax.  How am I going to do that?  I'm not quite sure yet, but here are a few of my ideas:

Attend mass on Sunday
Go for a walk with daddy
Play with your sister kitty, Maggie
Read my new-to-me book
Clean the house and get ready for the holidays
Take a bubble bath
Start eating healthier
Exercise

So that's the plan... try and relax this week while we continue trying to conceive.  Hopefully this month, I will not stress so much over the symptoms and I can just enjoy this time with daddy.  I need to remember, that even if this isn't the month, it will happen eventually, in God's time.

Love forever and always,

What's Been Going On...

Dear Little One,

So, it's been almost three months since I've stopped my birth control pill.  Since then, I have had three cycles and I just started my fourth a few days ago.  In order to help with understanding my body more, I've been tracking my basal body temperature.  It's a little rough on weekends having to get up so early to take my temperature, but I fall right back to sleep and I know you will be worth it.

We officially started trying to conceive last cycle.  It was a pretty rough day when my period started last week, but I'm doing much better now.  Daddy was sad too, but he was strong for mommy.  I've noticed that my luteal phase is only about eleven days, and I spot two of those days.  It has me a little worried, but I think it is just because of the birth control and my body still regulating after getting off the pill.  I've done some research online and I found that vitamin B6 can help lengthen the luteal phase, so I started taking the vitamin yesterday.  We'll see how that works out for me.

A few months ago, I joined a group online for women trying to conceive the first time. There's about twenty or so girls in the group, some just starting to try, some going through fertility treatments, some trying to conceive after a miscarriage, and everything in between.  It has been an amazing support group and I don't know what I would do without those ladies.  Daddy appreciates it too because he doesn't have to listen to ever TTC thought that passes through my head.  The group has four girls that have gotten pregnant already, and I'm hoping to be the next lucky girl to get a big fat positive!

Well, basically that is all that's going on.  Daddy and I are still very much looking forward to the day we find out you are on your way, but until then, I will just keep dreaming.  I can't wait to meet you little one!

Love forever and always,